Patmos Isle

The life of a Pastor, one who has been beaten and left to die by his own kind.

Name:
Location: Texas, United States

I consider myself as one that has seen the dark side of humanity and has lived to speak of it.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Shepherd

I have realized that my blogg would be great served with cheese, because they say that wine goes good with cheese. Sorry, a very bad joke that I should have forgotten a LONG time ago.

Yet in the midst of this dark hour, I cannot but help say... My Shepherd is good. You see I deserve a lot worse. I deserve His touch and their be boils appear, I deserve his voice and I lose a limb, I deserve His finger tip to move over me and I be stricken with some horrible stuck facial expression. He is a Good Shepherd.

Yet He still awakens me day by day with all my limbs and no boils to be found and well I am not all that handsome, but I will say it could be a lot worse. He is a Good Shepherd

He has never let me die from thirst, and although I would rather have prime rib with a nice lobster tail, He somehow is able to nourish me with my tears. He is a Good Shepherd.

I have always seemed to find my way, though I did not understand completely all of the valley. I have always seemed to have stumbled upon the table, as I walked out of dark place. I have always seem to have noticed grass stains later on my clothes, where I was actually sitting in green pastures. Somehow people always notice even in my darkest times and in great despair, that my face shines with a new glow, I find out later, that my head has oil upon it. Last but not least, I realize that my hand is heavy, and when I look down it's because there is this cup that is full. He is a Good Shepherd.

I love Him, even though it might sound I am confused with Him. I love Him, even though my heart seems dry. I love Him, even yet my ears ring with my silence, and the most amazing thing about it, is He is great and good enough to know that I think He is a Great Shepherd, even when it just hurts to much to say it.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jacob said...

Hey, I thought I'd finally leave a comment here. I'm just wondering what makes you say you deserve all this terrible stuff. Is it because of some terrible things you've done that you say you deserve to be mutilated by God?

5:10 PM  
Blogger Patmos said...

Jacob, I have thought many times in life that I deserved better, I have thought many times of how He should be better to me that what He is. Yet everytime I find myself having been pushed down and humbled. I find it easier in life to feel as if I deserve his wrath, than His goodness. I am not sure if there is a calling/ministry for people like myself, people who have seen the side of God that if it was not for His mercy, would be consumed by His wrath. My whole life, from a very young age, to even just last month and even now again this week, I am crushed with fear from sickness, I guess one is not able to understand until one does not really know if he/she is going to wake up the next morning. Consistent fear/pain, causes one to question so much more, than the one who has walked life pretty much with out fear/pain. I think I worry more howerver over the fact, that I do ask Him so many questions, I worry, if He will just become tired.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Thomas Jackson said...

I've posted this poem on my blog, so you've probably already seen it. I'm posting it here to let you know that even the best of us are whining fools, particularly those who write. Keep your chin up.

http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/donne/triplefool.htm

-thomas

7:39 AM  

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