Patmos Isle

The life of a Pastor, one who has been beaten and left to die by his own kind.

Location: Texas, United States

I consider myself as one that has seen the dark side of humanity and has lived to speak of it.

Friday, July 22, 2005

No, really, I understand

I don't even know how to start this today. You would think I would be a pro at this by now. I said last time... I WILL NOT allow it to hurt.... I WILL NOT allow it to make me cry... I WILL NOT allow it to blur my vision.

Now I can't see if my vision is blurred or not, from the tears that drop from my face, like rain falling to the ground, to only be offered up again as an offering.

What was it he said? "I think you should distant yourself from me, not for my safety, but for yours."

I had this idea that a friend was to come close, so that there might be some kind of safety. I have felt like this King, who ruled a Kingdom, and those who pledged their loyalty has now vanished and it has all been for my safety, for my good, for my protection.

Standing now surrounded by an army that has not once shown any kind of mercy, and have only hidden in their caves to call upon the darkness that they might fight like cowards, so that they might fight like devils it is now that I stand alone.

Is it thy plan to isolate me, has it been thy plan to allow all men to turn against me?

I cannot!!!! I cannot!!!! I cannot!!!!! Do this.... Don't you understand, don't you see, don't you know I have come to my end, they have chased me, they have raped me, they have beat me, they have left me for dead and now they come again to see that my death is filled with great sorrow.

I thought you would come, showing up with a garment to cover my nakedness, to cover my shame, yet I see that you will only come with the linen to wrap me in, to place me there with them that have gone on before.

With what strength I have, I lift this cup, this bitter cup.... Let it now be filled so that thy servant may drink.


Blogger Thomas Jackson said...

Strong, sad writing

I hope we both find what we're looking for in the near future. If you need someone to talk to, or even just a sympathetic target for exposition, you know how to reach me.

10:47 AM  

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