Patmos Isle

The life of a Pastor, one who has been beaten and left to die by his own kind.

Location: Texas, United States

I consider myself as one that has seen the dark side of humanity and has lived to speak of it.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

This I Regret

In a matter of minutes, I will be putting on my game face.

The face that shines from the desk of God telling others how to live their lives, telling others that Jesus is in control, telling others that it might be Wednesday, but thanks be to God Friday is around the corner.

Then I will disappear in the shadows and return to licking my wounds. I will go home, put a pill in my mouth and return to my bed of sorrow.

Had some visitors today, some young people that think I hung the moon. I would love to tell them Jon that I have not even seen the moon in about 6 months. Yet I just don't have the ability to tell some teenagers that their Pastor wants to go away. That their Pastor has no desire to see the sun rise, much less the moon.

My wife climbed out of the bed this morning, and I just pulled the covers over my head, I wanted to vanish. I have been to this fork in the road before, my plans were secure and my destination was clear. There was nothing left to do, but disappear, I had my chance, the door was open, yet I sat in the prison of who I was at the moment, rather than who I wanted to become.

The strange thing is, I don't think I even have the energy to make it past the driveway. Maybe I can get someone to drive me 1/2 way.

Well, look at the time... The Reverend is on in 30.


Post a Comment

<< Home