Patmos Isle

The life of a Pastor, one who has been beaten and left to die by his own kind.

Location: Texas, United States

I consider myself as one that has seen the dark side of humanity and has lived to speak of it.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I was reading

This last week, I took time to just sit with a cup of tea and a lamp burning in my office and a book in my lap, and refresh myself with reading.

I was enjoying it way too much I suppose for it was then that truth jumped out at me and I wept at it's bitter sting...

"Your work and your life must go off the stage together"
William Gurnall

My plan was that I would give God the best years and He would give me the last years.

I said to Him just a few weeks ago, as my health turned back into a downward spin, I hope I pleased you these last 15 years. I heard no answer, but then what is new?

I sit in my office which is about to greatly change in but a few weeks, I sit behind this desk which I have treasured, and I sit here as if I were an old man, trying to find strength to come out of my chair. It was this last month that I have pleaded with Him, bring me relief... "Bring me sweet relief, by thy hand which can only do that which is right, please, bring me sweet relief." You see for I am only able to see my life exiting to the right of the stage, I cannot see of my work.

Many would say, how can you believe in a God, much less work for Him, this God who brings much pain? I can only respond, I just need to find where His grace is, I feel as if I can find that place, then work and life will exit gently.


Blogger Thomas Jackson said...

I might sound like a broken record, but when I feel the way you do, I read Job. It's never pleasant, but it's always enlightening. If Job is too fresh in my mind, I read Genesis. Jacob is a stranger to honor, yet he's obviously chosen as a favorite over Esau; I'm still at a complete loss for explainations of why events unfold as they do. However, I know that justice is always a stranger to society; If I doubt that, I just look at a crucifix: he is my king, not Caesar.

11:01 PM  

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