Oh To Suffer

Out of nowhere today two very interesting moments in life come rushing back to me and I cannot help but wonder, how, if possible it could be true.

I was but a child, having moved in with my grandparents, loving them in a way that only an 8 year old could (with everything he could). I remember kneeling down in the bathroom, kneeling at the toilet and with everything that was in me crying out that God would make me sick so that the hole in my grandmothers heart would get better. Today, I suffer daily with a sick heart, medication on a good day keeps me out of bed.

This second memory, I was young, but older than 8. I remember my mother holding her hands and crying and telling me when I asked, that she has arthritis and she suffers with it often. I remember praying.... God, please, put it on me, so that my mother wont hurt anymore. Today I can barely rest at night, from hands that ache and are so tender and sore.

How these two things come back to me today, I guess that part of my mind opened and let them spill out. How odd and I know those who read will say... Patmos, you are crazy!!! Maybe I am, yet I cannot stop thinking..... How odd