Patmos Isle

The life of a Pastor, one who has been beaten and left to die by his own kind.

Location: Texas, United States

I consider myself as one that has seen the dark side of humanity and has lived to speak of it.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I wish I knew what to say

God, I wish I knew what to say right now. I have never in my life felt so alone, so afraid, so scared, so forgotten!!!

I have been silent, not because I have been busy, but because I have been silent. I got tired of hearing myself say the same dam thing over and over. I got tired of hearing myself speak, so I put my hand over my mouth and I only speak when I have too. I speak not to family, friends, loved ones, not even my precious little girl (yorkie)

I have nothing left to say, I have cried out in the room full of people and no one cared to listen, I cried out in the forest and no one cared to come, I cared out in the storm and yet everyone remained inside. So I have just stopped crying and honestly I think I have just stopped caring.

I wish now more than ever to be just left alone, I know this sounds horrible, yet there was a day that I thought I would just run away, leave everyone and everything and just vanish. Now I only have the strength to wish that everyone would just leave me, just walk away, just leave me to myself.


Blogger Thomas Jackson said...

Sometimes I feel that I'd be more socialized as a Cistercian Monk. When I come to my senses, I know that I have to rely on friends, and I have to speak my mind. I haven't been a good friend to you in a while: it's almost completely my fault.

Lockhart does have the best barbecue.

If you ever need to talk, just call. I'm always glad to hear from friends, especially you. I find a lot of my communication is tied into the phone. I intend to try more correspondence, but the best way to communicate with me is still to call the cell. It's on all day, every day for all my friends, and especially you. I hope to hear from you soon.

3:42 PM  

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